


Narcissism

by gemini28



Category: Mobsterswitch - Fandom, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:47:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5781226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemini28/pseuds/gemini28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Droog enjoys a challenge, from time to time. He also greatly enjoys himself. Now he gets the best of both worlds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Narcissism

Diamonds Droog was a fan of order. In Midnight City, where things were often chaotic at best, that could be considered a tall order. But Droog found order in small things and places, especially where he could control exactly how things went. According to some who actually had the guts to voice their opinion where he could hear it, this made him a “pain in the ass”. But Droog didn’t become the right hand man of Spades Slick by listening to the words of inconsequential people (even if it was in fact Slick that usually voiced that opinion).

It was this particular quirk that made him best for cleaning up the bigger issues in the city that couldn’t just be delegated to underlings. Droog might have been less than a fan of actual hard work, but point him towards a problem that could be fixed with a bit of manipulation and he was a shark in the ocean. There were very few in the city who could out think him, and fewer still that were willing to put such a task into motion.

That was why, when rumors about a look alike started to circulate, Droog took great interest in them. Anyone who claimed to be one of the Crew was either very clever, or a complete disaster. No matter what their thought process was, or even what they were expecting was going to happen, Droog was very, very interested in seeing them crash and burn tremendously.

There was one particular night, when one of the serving staff at a restaurant Droog was enjoying himself at expressed surprise that he was here, instead of at a bar across town, that he decided to do something about it. Being seen in two places at once was only a good thing if he was involved, and could control how it happened. It was nothing but a detriment otherwise.

Droog made his way to the bar the server had mentioned as quickly as possible, not wanting to lose this particular chance. The bar turned out to be one he knew, though only by its reputation as something of a dive. Disappointing, really. Clearly whoever was trying to be him was already doing a poor job.

 When he walked into the bar, there was a complete shift in atmosphere. It was intensely satisfying, knowing that even with a fake Droog running around, everyone knew exactly who the real one was when coming face to face with him. It wasn’t hard picking out the similar face from the crowd, considering how many of the bar’s patrons turned to look directly at him.

Droog didn’t approach him directly. It was better to make the stranger sweat a little, and Droog wanted to have a drink while he studied the similarities between the two of them. He got himself the regular from the bartender, and settled down at the bar just a few chairs away from the impersonator.

To his disappointment, the man next to him wasn’t actually all that good of a doppelganger.  Droog didn’t even need to see him past profile to know that. The man was dressed in stark white, and even the immaculate look of the outfit wasn’t enough to take away from the color. He couldn’t believe that this was who everyone thought was him, were they all blind? The man hadn’t even bothered to do something basic, like dye his hair a darker shade.

Droog turned his attention to his drink, thoroughly disappointed. Certainly, even if it had been a passable imitation he’d still planned to dispose of the problem, but he’d allowed himself to get too interested. Always such a letdown.

“I’m going to assume that you’re the Droog everyone’s been assuming I am.” Came a voice, and when Droog looked over, the imposter was looking right at him. Seeing him from the front made all the difference, and Droog could see why people were making the mistakes that they were. The two of them were nearly identical in facial features, and their voices were different by only a few octaves.

“…I am, yes. And it stands to reason that means that you’re the supposed imposter I’ve heard so much about.” Droog said, and turned to properly face the stranger. “Most people would consider it foolhardy to pretend to be a Crew member.”

“That was hardly my intent, I assure you. I never made those claims, people just assumed that’s what was happening.” He waved a hand dismissively, and Droog was struck by how similar even their mannerisms seemed to be. “I am glad that we met, however. It would seem that I need assistance, and you’re probably the best one for it.”

“Assistance?” Droog raised an eyebrow. “You know, when people ask for my help, I usually at least know who they are.” His double paused at that, then drained his glass before he sighed.

“I’m sure it’ll be difficult to believe me. I know that if I were in your position I certainly wouldn’t believe me.” A pause. “Deadeye Detective. As strange as this may sound, I believe I’m…you, in a way. I mean, this certainly isn’t my city, and you being someone that even makes my hypothesis seem more and more likely. Obviously, you have no reason to believe me, but as far as I’m aware that’s the truth.”  

Droog didn’t answer right away. Instead, he let the silence stretch out, and seemed deep in thought. He swirled the last of his drink in its glass, looking into it before polishing it off and standing.

“Well, then, Detective. Your revelation may have just explained something that’s been bothering me. Follow me, if you will.” He said, then started walking without checking to see if the Detective would actually come along. If he really was telling the truth, and if he needed his help, he would be right behind him.

 Sure enough, by the time Droog stepped out of the bar, Deadeye was falling into step beside him. Droog took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and got one for himself, and offered the box to Deadeye after a pause. The detective took it, lit it, and the two of them shared a comfortable moment of silence as they walked. Droog was more convinced than ever that the story he’d heard was the truth, because he couldn’t really believe that anyone else in the city would be able to simply be quiet for a minute.

“A few days ago, I was made aware of a magical anomaly within the city. It seemed small, just a slight problem. But if you were able to come through, then that makes it much more annoying.”

“To be fair, I didn’t come here on purpose.” Deadeye said, and blew out a lungful of smoke. “A portal opened up right in front of me on my way home. It was unexpected enough that I had no time to react, and found myself here with no way back.”

“And then you began to be mistaken for me.”

“Yeah. I didn’t expect that, either, but I went along with it. I figured I’d run into you sooner or later.”

Droog considered this as they neared one of his more often used apartments. It certainly made sense, and he could admit that the idea certainly had worked. Of course, the question now was how to get him back to where he belonged, but Droog wasn’t all that worried. He was one of the better mages in the city, after all, and if he couldn’t figure something out, he could get someone that could.

Once they arrived at his apartment, he let them in and caught a glimpse of Detective’s expression. The barest hint of envy, with an attempt at smoothly covering it up that wasn’t quite successful. Droog was a master at reading his own expression, after all. He supposed his double wasn’t living in nearly as luxurious conditions, which would explain the poorer quality of his suit.

Inside, Droog headed directly to the minibar, determined to get more of a drink this evening than he’d had, if he’s going to be dealing with all this double nonsense. Detective seemed unsure of where to go, what to touch, and stayed standing near the couch. He stood out among the regular colors of Droog’s apartment in his white suit, as stark a contrast as the moon against the sky.

“Relax, Detective.” Droog said, and walked over with a similar drink to what Detective had had in the bar. “I thought we could do with a bit of quiet and privacy, instead of hashing out ideas in a bar.” Deadeye took the drink and sat on the couch, looking quietly thoughtful.

“This is a very nice house. You must do very well for yourself.” He said, as if he didn’t already know very well what Droog did for a living. Perhaps he didn’t, though he had certainly been mistaken for him long enough that perhaps he had formed a hypothesis at least. Droog sat as well and made a noncommittal noise

“I do well enough.” He said, and didn’t even bother to try to hide the smirk on his face. Detective scoffed, and Droog found himself liking the other man that much more.

The two of them sat in silence for a bit, simply drinking and observing separate things. Detective looked around the room and various things that were left out around it, and Droog looked at Detective. He couldn’t help it. He had never been a man who was particularly humble, especially about his looks. And this was a new, wholly fascinating way to look at himself, and the fact that it wasn’t actually him made things even more interesting.

Detective held himself stiffly, and he seemed to be constantly on edge, eyes darting here and there. To anyone else, no doubt he looked relaxed and thoughtful, but Droog was often in that state himself, so it was more than familiar to him. He supposed that the other man was still feeling out his surroundings, getting used to this universe, but honestly the best part was that it gave Droog a chance to check him out much easier than if he and Deadeye were directly interacting.

Even for an alternate, he was admirably handsome. Droog felt an impulse to dress him up in something better than what he had on, something that would bring out the best in his looks. If he was going to wear his face, at the very least he could look better than half decent.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Detective broke into Droog’s thoughts, a strange, sly smile on his face. As if he could read Droog’s mind.

After a moment of silence, Droog stood up and walked over to Deadeye, leaning over him with one hand on the couch for balance. The other man looked up at him with an expression he was sure matched his own, and didn’t bat an eyelash at their sudden closeness. Even to Droog, it wasn’t  obvious how he actually felt, and that was almost exciting. Usually the people he ended up in this position with were either trying their hardest not to meet his eyes, or were the most aggressive things ever.

It was a fascinating change, and when Droog leaned down further, it was Detective that sat up to close the distance between their lips.

It should have been weird, kissing his duplicate. But it wasn’t, and though it was probably the worst kind of narcissism, Droog definitely thought that Deadeye was the best kisser he’d ever met. It wasn’t overly sappy, and it didn’t make his lips bleed, and it most certainly wasn’t a mess. He could almost call it fitting, that the only person who really met his very specific standards was, technically, himself.

They pull away, a bit breathless, and Droog smirks down.

“My, Detective, but you are an interesting man.”

“I could say the same of you, Mr. Droog.” Deadeye sounds immeasurably smug, and Droog takes his drink from him, setting it safely out of range of being knocked over, and shoves him down onto the couch. Deadeye goes down with surprising ease, though his calm, pleased expression doesn’t leave. “Well, now. You certainly move quickly. I can’t say I’m complaining.”

“Of course I am. When would I get another chance like this?” Droog scoffed, and kissed Deadeye again, his hands sliding up his chest. Detective put his arms around Droog’s shoulders, getting very into the kissing, and even more into the undoing of his suit jacket’s buttons. They both sat up at the same time for him to shrug out of it, and Deadeye undid his tie as well, though he kept his shirt, slightly unbuttoned. Droog made no move to undress himself, yet.

He was even more attractive like this, to be honest. They have similar builds, and even though their scars don’t match up perfectly, it’s still thrilling. Droog knew what he wanted, and it was clear that Deadeye was in perfect agreement, by the way that he was already leaning up and kissing at Droog’s neck. Droog wasn’t always the most patient, and he was especially not patient right now, his hands undoing Deadeye’s belt easily.

They kiss again, a bit rougher this time. Droog pins Deadeye down onto the couch by his shoulders, going to bite down onto his neck and leaving a deep dark hickie, just below where his shirt collar ends. Deadeye swears, but by the way that he’s adjusting himself to properly grind up against Droog, it doesn’t seem like he minds so much.

Droog has more than a bit of experience undoing pants without looking down, and it’s very easy to tug down his pants, with Deadeye following suit rather quickly. Droog smirked when he looks down.

“I suppose we’re similar there, as well. I can’t say I’m particularly disappointed.”

“Hm.” Deadeye propped himself up on his elbows and studied the two of them. “Not too bad.” Droog scoffed at him, and the slightly smug look on Deadeye’s face is just shy of infuriating.

“I do hope I can make this better than that, Detective.” He said, putting as much sneering sarcasm as he possibly can in those words. The smirk that he gets back he decides to take as a challenge.

Droog leans back until he’s sitting back onto the couch, and Deadeye sat up, looked briefly confused, before smirking and moving towards Droog. He got rid of his pants on the way there, and straddled him, put his hands onto Droog’s shoulders and rocked against him.

Droog tends to pride himself on not losing control during sex, but there’s something that seemed particularly intense about seeing a mirror image of himself grinding up against him. His poker face cracked a little, and he gasped, and it took quite a bit of work on Droog’s part to not make any more noise than that. Deadeye kept his head down, so he couldn’t see how smug he was or was not being, but he figured it was probably a lot. It’s how he would feel, after all.

He wasn’t quite able to concentrate after that, however, because Deadeye had wrapped his hand around both their dicks, and started to stroke them both. He wasn’t inexperienced, certainly, but this situation still seemed so incredibly surreal and different, it made him feel like he was experiencing something almost new.

Of course, letting Detective know that he was being so affected was something he wasn’t going to let happen, so he set his jaw, grabbed Detective’s hips and ground up against him as best he was able to. He felt smug at the groan from Detective, and kept moving, unwilling to stop once it’d started feeling so good.

From there, there wasn’t much more than the noises of skin on skin, and slowly building breathing. Neither of them seemed particularly able to concentrate at anything snarky to say, not when they seem so completely intent on trying to ruin the other.

Deadeye was first to start getting obviously close. His breath got heavier, and the hands on Droog’s shoulders got tighter in their grip. Without missing a beat, Droog reached into his pocket and brought out a handkerchief, wrapping it around both their dicks. The added sensation was intense, and he watched the way that Deadeye reacted closely.

His expression was still carefully schooled, but he wasn’t able to hide the way that his cheeks turned pink, or how his hair fell slightly in his face. His breath hitched, and even Droog couldn’t be unaffected when Deadeye came, it sent a thrill up his spine. And when he kept going, Droog was quick to follow behind with a sharp inhalation and a stifled groan.

There was a moment where they both had to catch their breath. Deadeye was the first to move, sliding off Droog’s lap and grabbing his clothes. Droog took a moment to stretch, and then tossed the ruined handkerchief away with some distaste. The only thing that he had to do was button his pants back up, and he admittedly took the time between that and Deadeye getting redressed to admire Deadeye’s body a bit more. One would think that he would get use to looking him over, but it didn’t seem to be that way.

“Well,” Deadeye said, sitting back down after a moment and pulling out his own packet of cigarettes. “That was thrilling.” He leans towards Droog when he offered out a lighter, and his shoulders lost some more of their tension when he inhaled.

“I agree. Good that this kind of chance wasn’t something that slipped past us.” Droog lit up his own cigarette, and leaned back against the couch, basking slightly in the afterglow. “I think it would be best if you stayed the night. I can help you further tomorrow, and you’ll likely get home.”

“Sounds fine to me. So long as this doesn’t mean I’ll end up inter universally indebted to you.” Deadeye didn’t seem like he was actually all that worried about the prospect, honestly.

“No, I’d say that’d be a bit too much of a pain to cash in a favor.” Droog said, and gave a thing smile that could really mean just about anything when it came down to it.

The night, as far as he was concerned, had been a successful one, in that not only was there no giant problem that he would have to fix, but also that he got some interesting sex out of the deal. Dealing with bringing Deadeye back would come the next day, of course, but that was for the future to deal with. For now, he planned to fully enjoy the rest of his night with some excellent company.


End file.
